Saturday, September 29, 2012

Weak Parents of Neurotypical Kids

I have decided that I am not cut out to do daycare these days. The amount of spoiled children I see screaming in stores and trying to convince their parents that they absolutely need this toy (who then break down if....IF they hear the word "no"), guarantees that I will have one of these monsters in my home, tormenting my child and raising my stress level.

It surely is not what it was when I was a nanny. I cared for indulged children, but they understood the concepts of rules and obedience. These days children have no fear of repercussion from their parents, and it shows.

For about a month I watched a neighbor's child. He showed up bawling every single day. He never spoke, refused to eat, and I had to make him go to the bathroom. But the parents swore up and down that he'd talk, he'd tell me when he had to go potty, and he was a generally happy guy. I never saw any of that. This kid felt it was okay to play with my son's toys, but would not share the ones his parents brought each morning to pacify him. Had this been a real daycare, he would not have been allowed to bring those toys, and if he didn't participate with the other children, he would have sat out. My son would try to hug him to ease his crying, and he would push my son away. And the kid's biggest gripe? I made him eat the food his parents left for him every day.

His parents came down last night and told me that his mother was now working nights with her job. As a hotel housekeeper? Yeah. Okay. But you know what, their lie saved me from having to tell one, because I was getting rid of that kid.

Children these days are pampered left and right. I understand wanting to give your kids a better life, but to me that means two doting parents, chances to go out and play, and a place where one need not feel fear. NOT tons of toys, giving in at the slightest whine, and definitely not skimping on the food issue. The child I was watching had poo that was white. That's a nutritional deficiency! You're so weak a parent that you can't manage to get your kid to eat? You need to lose them.

Parents of neurotypical kids these days really irritate me. My son is developmentally delayed and behaves better than these kids who at his age are talking a mile a minute, potty trained and able to deal with simple reasoning. Instead they are using their reasoning skills to con mom and dad into buying the latest thing they see, playing with all their gadgets, and falling out in the store. And what does mom and dad do? Nothing!

Please stop saying that the government won't allow you to discipline your kids. It is not against the law to discipline your kids. Stop saying you're afraid of CPS, let me give you a heads up. I had them called on me for a bogus reason. The worker saw that it was a bogus reason, and closed the case. Fear of CPS is not an excuse for letting your brat run wild.

My son has what seems to be unlimited energy. My body constantly aches, and I have no energy. Yet I keep up with him....every day, as he gets up at dawn. I'm constantly in pain, but I lug him and tons of groceries and other sundries around ON THE BUS, while parents of these screamers have minivans to load all their crap in. My son thinks that my every movement initiates a game of chase, and just trying to get to him to change his diaper is an event. I manage to get fruits and vegetables into a child with serious food anxiety due to his autism. What is your excuse, mom? Make a damn milkshake and take those gerber or beechnut pureed fruit veggie thingines and mix them. Serve cold to your brat.

Please be parents, not pussies! Seriously! If you have given up on trying to get your kid to eat, wear something decent to school, do chores, listen to you, and all you keep doing is buying things, then the problem is you. STOP it with all the purchases, find a creative way to involve your kid in the day to day workings of the home and stop making excuses. I read where one lady said it was tough to be a kid today. WHAT? She went on to say that it was easier to just not have them do chores because the effort you had to put into it would wear you out. Lady, maybe you need to just block out yours and your kids' "busy schedules" (they don't need to be in lacrosse, ballet, volleyball, tae kwon do and tennis all at once), and spend several evenings and weekends working on their chores. They bumble it? They fix it. They don't want to move, you fire up that butt, and they will move. Make them understand that YOU are the parent, and stop being so concerned with whether or not they like you. I don't care if my son likes me, he loves me. That's what's important.

My son does not like me when I make him try a new food. He does not like me when I take him in from the park out back because it's time for me to start dinner. He does not like me when I am sluggish when he wakes up at dawn every freaking morning, and I make him lay back down for 30+ minutes. Of course he doesn't like me. So what? I discipline my son when needed, and I do my best to keep up with him. I hold him down to get his medication, and I communicate daily with his teachers. My son hugs and kisses me, and it's not because I give him all these material things. Stop trying to buy your kids' love and approval.

I'm glad the little mongrel is gone. And the ones before him, who peed on my floor, dropped food on my floor that they didn't want to eat, fought like animals, apparently never bathed (because they hated, so? DEAL WITH IT, JEEZ) and loved to have "who can eat the loudest and nastiest" contests.

I think I will stick to my kid. The parents of kids like the ones I watched do not have any real challenges. Stop using income as an excuse. Stop using single parenting as an excuse. You're a parent, you're supposed to be tired. And if you're cash poor, stop buying brand name, stop buying every little toy. When we get our son a toy, he is enamored of it for a very long time, and comes back to it regularly. That's because we're not shopping every weekend. When we do get him something, we tell him it's because he's been a good boy. And we only do it then. We do not reward falling out in the floor, throwing food, pooping in the tub (sensory issue), or general refusal to listen.

Why is it that we have a disabled child who behaves better than most neurotypical kids his age? Why? Steven hardly ever screams in the store. I can count one or two times in his almost four years of life. But each time I go somewhere, someone's brat is screaming bloody murder in aisle three.

Um, take that kid to the car and get an understanding between you. And at home, stop giving in! You subject these kids on the general population and it's because of YOU that so many people want kids banned from public places.

BE A PARENT, NOT A PUSSY. This has been a public service announcement, courtesy of Sam.

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